Ahhhhh the summer is near – just around the corner. Spring on the Taos Pueblo is a great time. It’s the best time for early morning hikes or runs – feel the change from winter, into spring and into summer… mmmmm love it! It makes me feel naughty, it makes me feel happy!
I want sunrise and sunsets. I want earth’s work, I want poetry, I want corn dance, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness, I want sin.
This blog was inspired by events in my life and this song:
I have a little question if I may. “What is it that you think makes you strong?”
Is it because you are intelligent?
Is it because you are brave and good?
Is it because you’re special?
I’ll tell you something: I think you’re strong because you’re unhappy.
A pueblo-man is strong because he feels hurt.
He feels the difference between what the world was and is now, what he has to make of it.
The pueblo people that uphold the traditions are strong because they hurt more than others.
His wound is his strength.
I have seen recently that most ordinary people without a culture carry that pain around inside them their whole lives, until they kill the pain by other means, drinking, blaming, self doubt or until it literally kills them.
My friends, I will tell you a secret. When pushed into the dirt and others doubted me, I found another way.
I used pain and my aloneness as fuel, for guiding light and warmth on a sad night. I have learned to break the world that has tried to break me.
Come on people, why kid ourselves. We in this age of so-called information with a touch of a button love affairs – we the people have nothing to say to one another, we only want to make others feel like our problems are the only ones. Listen to my troubles and nothing else.
In this country, it seems each man and woman is for himself,.
Couples text love affairs, and google mistakes on face-book. It’s my-space not your space, it’s my face-book, unloading unhappiness on someone else while making cyber love. What’s the use?
You do your damnedest, but it doesn’t work. You carve out a speck of a diamond in the lava rocks with broken bloody finger nails for it to be stolen with other’s unhappiness. I refuse to take on other’s unhappiness, that is why I like being alone, to shovel out a ditch until the pain in your back turns, disappears and returns.
I don’t want to be unhappy because others are unhappy, boasting how they succeeded in getting rid of their unhappiness, by destroying another’s happiness.
Everyone knows it’s not true, they’ve simply kept it all to themselves.
I pray, if I’m lucky, as I get older and older, I will age as a happy man and not one that gets uglier and more repulsive.
To laugh and not hide in your secret chambers – your unhappiness, your bankruptcy, your divorce, your break up, your Dieng culture – any longer.
I guess it’s inevitable in the end. Our features are marked with the hideous grimace that was slowly carved in our teens when the girl we loved walked away with another, in our twenties when we felt we weren’t being heard, in our thirties when we didn’t accomplish what we wanted out of life and in our forties when we are totally misunderstood.
It forms silently – being forged by unhappiness, legs of doubt, arms made from fear, and heart forged out of jealousy. It climbs from the darkest places of our inner being and one day, just some random unhappy day, it sticks to your face.
A GRIMACE, Mr Grimace, Mrs Grimace, Mr and Mrs Grimace. That’s all a man is good for, that and no more, a grimace that he takes a whole lifetime to carve. Instead of lines of smiles, he blamed others. Instead of laughing, she chose tears. Instead of love, they chose fear. Instead of holding hands, they punched the walls. And instead of forgiveness, they walked away angry.
UNHAPPINESS with yourself and others is The Grimace man, carving away and unhappy because he never completed, never succeeded in the completion.
What does this all mean?
Why did I write this?
I’m trying to inspire, You, Me, Us, to be happy no matter what, because no matter what you do, it will never be enough for those who are unhappy with you or their own lives.
you can turn the negativity into the happiness of a higher love.
I would rather be alone than be unhappy. To be unhappy takes away your strength. I would rather walk the paths of my future waiting for my true love in happiness rather than sadness.
I want to forge a death mask that reads, “He looks like he’s smiling…”
The summer is almost here!!!!!!! ahhhhh I love it!
I crave a hip-bone tanned by the buffalo river that i can kiss!
be a smile,
be a long kiss,
be a song,
be a farmer,
be the seed,
be the rain.